The Mask of Anonymity

When I was a teenager, my brother and I had a few parties, but the Halloween party was truly the scariest, not so much in the typical Halloween sort of ways but in how people behaved when hidden behind the cloak of anonymity (or Dracula…). Friends who would normally never steal or vandalize, in costume and unrecognizable did exactly that. We awoke the morning after to find a huge mess, broken items and things missing from our home. The same reality happens each year here on Halloween, I have walked Front Street a hundred times and yet, only in the dark of Halloween night under the guise of mask and costume has anyone ever reached out to grab me inappropriately.

This raises an interesting question: Who are you behind the mask? Does anonymity bring out the best or the worst in you? Another interesting opportunity for self-inquiry, what masks do you choose to wear? Do you choose costumes that represent your shadowy dark side, or your more altruistic character? What part of your personality do you fuel on Halloween night?

Anonymity isn’t exclusive to costume parties though, take the Internet for instance. When we date or interact with others online, we wear the mask of a computer screen shielding us from being known. Only that which we choose to reveal can be seen. In many cases this anonymity has been the freedom people have sought in relationships for years, the opportunity to truly be themselves with full disclosure of the best and worst aspects of themselves. Many use the Internet as an opportunity to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and experience that catharsis. Others, however, use that same anonymity as the perfect opportunity to deceive, or twist and bend the truth into unrecognizable proportions. I’ve seen people say hurtful things via the Internet that they would never say to someone’s face. Somehow, not having to see the pain we inflict on another can bring out a sloppier level of care for the feelings of our fellow human beings.

And then there is the anonymity of what we do when no one is looking. Would you steal if you knew you wouldn’t get caught? Would you, or do you, cheat in your relationships? What do you do when your parents, your children, your spouse/partner, your boss or coworkers aren’t looking? Often, when our behavior is controlled by forces outside of ourselves we not only rebel against the powers that be when we get a chance, but ironically, we also unconsciously rebel against our authentic self in retaliation. When we lie, hurt, cheat or steal, we harm our own souls as well as other’s.

As you don your costumes this week, I invite you to look not only at the mask you wear for Halloween, but at the mask you wear all year long. How real are you? Who do you pretend to be? Take steps to align who you really are and how you want to show up in the world with how you do show up—even when no one is looking. Knowing our own spiritual values and having a strong self-governance can save a lot of heartache.

Perhaps it would be refreshing this Halloween, to show up to the party as your authentic self, maybe for the very first time. Take off the costume of drama, ego, need, and lack and put on the reality of compassion, honesty, abundance and freedom. Transcend the “trick,” and enjoy the “treat.”

Intellectual Foreplay Question of the Week: Who are you when no one is looking?

Love Tip of the Week: Who you are when no one but you knows is the true test of character.