The Deep End of Life

We placed our kayak into the water and began paddling with all our might to get out past the breakers over the reef. I fought my fear of flipping over at the same time as I fought my desire to look up at the majestic cliffs that towered to our left. Instinctively, I knew that one look up at the wrong moment could cause us to “huli” and tipping our kayak over in the surf, on the reef, just did not sound like a good way to start our trip down the Na Pali coast of Kauai. Especially, because I wasn’t sure how to get back in the kayak once out—a detail in retrospect that might have been wise to practice before leaving.

Just past the first challenge of the reef in deeper and slightly less treacherous waters, I looked ahead at the 16 miles of stunning, rugged, and otherwise inaccessible coastline that stretched before us. It was then that I realized that we had jumped headfirst into the deep end of life.

While it wasn’t exactly like being “up a creek without a paddle”, because well, we had paddles, it meant virtually the same thing. We had about 12 miles to go to reach our first destination, I hadn’t been kayaking in over three years, never in rough seas, and never ever in a place where there was no where to go ashore.

While some might understandably call this stupid, I didn’t realize the stupidity until I was in the midst of 4-6 foot confused seas that came in from the right, bounced off the cliffs and relentlessly rebounded at us from the left with 25 knot winds hitting us from the back. It somehow never occurred to me—until then—that this was dangerous. It never occurred to me that we could be in “over our heads.” It never occurred to me that maybe I should have WORN my life jacket instead of using it as a backrest.

Somehow, growing up going to Disneyland gave me a skewed view of life. One in which I wander though adventures saying, “Wow, this is just like Disneyland,” only to be corrected by my husband who reminds me while in a submarine, or river rafting, or zip-lining, “No, Eve, Disneyland is just like this.” But, hello, here we were and there we no seatbelts and no tracks and this was definitely NOT like Disneyland.

I also hadn’t realized the relationship skills that would be required, since my husband and I were literally “in the same boat.” We had to get in sync and we had to do it fast. We had, oh say, maybe 30 seconds to figure out how to steer together before we reached those first waves, after that, we had to trust each other, communicate, agree on where we would and would not go and paddle in sync for about six hours as we went in and out of sea caves, under a water fall, past giant green sea turtles and spinner dolphins, under soaring white-tailed Tropic birds, down one of the most beautiful coastlines in the entire world.

Had you asked me at the end of that day, after we had worried about friends who had flipped over and struggled with a water-logged boat, after we had overshot our destination and had to turn around with arms and backs already spent and paddle back into the wind and waves for nearly an extra hour to get to shore safely, after we got fried by the intense Hawaiian sun, if I would ever do it again, I would have said no. Had I known, I may not have gone at all. But now, that a few days have passed and one of my long-time dreams has been checked off my “bucket list,” after four days of camping with great friends and seeing few other people, after seeing thousand foot cliffs by moonlight, silhouetted by more stars than I’d ever seen at one time in my whole life, after being revitalized under a pristine waterfall, now that are back in safe harbor, I would have to say yes.

The deep end of life is where the action is. The deep end is where you learn to sink or swim, where you learn to become self-reliant, resilient and relentless. This is where you stretch who you are and become comfortable being uncomfortable. The deep end is where life’s best memories are made and the treasure of great stories are created.

Note: These pics were taken a year prior...in the weather we were EXPECTING....