What Does Your Money Reveal About YOU?

In preparing for the imminent tax reality, and in light of a hard drive crash that destroyed two years of records (I know, I know, BACK UP!), I have been entering the last two years of finances into my computer. In the process, I found myself reliving all these memories as I looked at checks I wrote. With each check I relived all the decisions I’ve made, all the steps I have taken and how far things have come in the last two years. Oddly, it was as sentimental as looking through a photo album.

When I got to the part where I could look at the year-end summaries, I was shown clearly what I had spent my money on and to in what proportions I utilized it. While looking at finances is not usually one of my favorite things to do, I realized how much one could tell about me by looking at how I chose to spend money. All of my business choices and improvements, vacations, tragedies, even romance—everything was spelled out in my financial choices.

I remember when I was twenty-one I was looking through old records of my grandma’s from the early 1900’s and marveling over how much she spent on clothes. Back in those days, $100 was like $1000 and to me it seemed she must have been eccentric in her shopping. I didn’t get that gene. Ironically now, I look at my own records and marvel on how little I’ve spent on myself.

I invite you do a little self-analysis and simply notice what you value. Do you balk at spending $20 on a bottle of vitamins but not think twice over spending it on a case of beer, or fingernail polish? Do you cringe over spending money on exercise classes, but not think twice about spending it on trinkets? When you look back on how you spent last year’s money, which values are revealed? What does your mouth say is important versus where you put your money?

So what does this have to do with relationships? Let’s look at our relationship with money…and maybe even what your money expenditures reveal about your relationships. Have you spent money on time together? Have you spent money on gaining skills and tools that will increase the quality of the time you spend together? Have you spent money on taking care of yourself? Perhaps even more interesting, how do money issues impact your relationship decisions? Do you stay with someone because of money? Do you not date someone because of money? Does your financial stability (or lack thereof) impact the people you date? Do you and your partner agree on how money is spent?

The same holds true for time use. How do you spend your time? What does the way you spend your time say about you? Time is this incredible blank canvas that we get to paint. What does your picture look like?

As an exercise in learning about yourself, make a list of the things that you value. Then make a list of the things that you spend money on. Are they the same? What about time? Draw a big circle on a piece of paper and then divide the circle up (like a pie) for each thing you spend your time on (or money) sizing the slices proportionately based on how much time is used for each. For instance, if work is one of your slices, how much of your time do you spend working? Health? Organization? Spiritual life? Social life? What about your love life? How much time to you dedicate to that? When I say dedicate, I don’t just mean time spent in the same room together; I mean time spent dedicated to being together or sharing an experience together.

Notice how much time you spend on things that really don’t matter to you all that much.
Take note that how you spend your time and money is how you reveal what you value and treasure. If you find that what truly matters to you isn’t getting the value that you believe it deserves, that awareness is the golden opportunity to do something different.

Intellectual Foreplay Question of the Week: What does your time/money use reveal about you?

Love Tip of the Week: Put your time and money where your heart is.