My Girlfriend Won't Have Sex With Me Anymore

Dear Eve,
How much money and effort should I put into dating? I live with a woman and we've been compatible for many years-the only problem is that this woman has cut me off from sex, but I manage to take care of myself. So how hard should I try to extricate myself?

Aloha,
You raise two questions, which are directly related; how you handle one dictates how you should handle the other. However, there are some other questions that you need to answer first. 1) Are you willing to continue living in a “compatible” situation with no sexual involvement? 2) What is the verbal agreement between you and this woman regarding your sex lives, monogamy and your relationship? How does she feel about you dating other women? 3) Do you know why she has cut you off from sex and is there anything that you can do to resolve it? 4) Do you want to end the relationship with the woman you are living with? You should also take into consideration how old you are and assess how easily you feel you will be able to meet someone with whom you get a long better.
If you are not willing to continue living as is, you have two choices: either rekindling the relationship you are in or getting out. Unless the two of you have explicitly agreed that it is acceptable to date other people, you should put no time and money into dating other women until you have finalized the relationship you have with the woman you live with. If you think getting out of the relationship is too complicated now, just wait until you bring a third party into it!
Since you are implying that you do, indeed, want out of the relationship, you should not have to “try hard” to extricate yourself; as Nike would say, “Just Do It!” Breaking up with someone isn't something that you attempt and may not actually succeed at doing. It is something you either do or don't do. Granted, it may be both emotionally and financially challenging, but it is still possible.
If you have reservations about breaking up, then I suggest you try to make the relationship work as your hesitation may mean that you have not done all you need to do to make the relationship vital. If you want to save your relationship, I suggest you pretend (just for the sake of the exercise) that all the problems in your relationship are your doing. Then take 100% responsibility for transforming the situation. This doesn't mean trying to get her to have sex with you again, this means amending whatever it is that made her stop wanting to have sex with you. When you change how you are showing up In the relationship, she will change the way she responds to you.
Keep in mind that if the reasons she cut you off from sex did have something to do with you-the quality of your sexual interaction, your attention to foreplay, your ability to make her feel cared for outside of the bedroom, your hygiene, your willingness to communicate and resolve issues totally unrelated to sex, but from which the emotions flow into the bedroom-you will bring these same issues into the next relationship.
My feeling is if you are in a compatible long-term relationship with someone, “try hard” and invest your “time and money” into healing that relationship and restoring its health before you try hard to get out and spend your time and money on dating.
I with you the best.
With aloha,
Eve

Intellectual Foreplay Question: What have you done for your love life lately?

Love Tip: Did you ever put a house up for sale, clean it all up, put on new paint and do the yard work only to find yourself thinking, “Why didn't I do this while I lived here?” The same holds true in relationships-spend the money, time and effort you would put into finding and courting someone new into the love you already have and you will be amazed at how good it can look.